Breaking News: Rolls-Royces are still expensive.

I read a headline that said “Rolls-Royce to build bespoke cars for super-rich”.

Yeah, no shit.

It’s impressive that Rolls Royce still do that though. They haven’t bowed to creating cash-grab cheaper cars, and are still synonymous with luxury and quality in the automotive industry. So, as a new year dawns, what are they bringing into 2025?

Well, first, they’re expanding their factory at Goodwood, in spite of the UK’s plan to phase out dinosaur-powered cars by 2030. They’ll just sell them abroad instead. Fair enough.

Their 2025 lineup looks strong - if you’ve got a large fortune burning a hole in your pocket you could have a go at their 2025 Ghost Series II, which comes with a V12 and 563 horses. It does need that much, however, as it weighs a substantial two and a half tonnes. So don’t go parking this in the top of a multi-storey car park, because it might be down on the ground floor by the time you get back.

Then again, if you drive this car, I doubt you’d be the type of person to use such a peasantry parking system. Also, you wouldn’t be driving. A chap in a funny hat would, while you sit in the back, admiring the plush seats - adorned in a fabric Royce calls “Duality Twill”, which is made out of bamboo and takes 20 hours to craft.

So you’ll be in comfort then, while you’re squished back into the seat, while the chap with the funny hat puts his foot down. Because you will be squished. With a 0-60 of 4.6 seconds, you’ll be damn near in the boot after the light turns green. Sir Alan Sugar will end up 6ft tall.

And just under £300,000 pound poorer. A hefty price for an entry-level Rolls. Doubt he’d care much though.

He’d probably not bother getting it anyway. The Ghost II looks very much like the Ghost I, but a little bit more squinty. That’s not to say it looks bad – it does command attention. Rolls-Royce designers seemed to of had a large mood board in their office, consisting entirely of an image of prime Arnold Schwarzenegger in a business suit and nothing else, and then based their work off of that.

So I guess that headline was right. Rolls-Royce are going to continue making cars for the super-rich. But that’s not really a surprise, is it? They’re hardly going to make a Prius.